We often fall into routine chats with our partners. But what if a few well-chosen questions could transform your connection? Based on Stan Tatkin’s PACT model, here are 10 questions to strengthen your bond:
- “What’s your earliest memory of feeling safe?” Uncover the roots of their sense of security.
- “How do our moods affect each other?” Recognize how you influence each other’s emotions.
- “What’s a fear you’ve never told me about?” Create space for sharing hidden worries.
- “Where do you see us in 20 years?” Align your long-term vision.
- “What do I misunderstand about you?” Challenge assumptions you might have.
- “When do you feel closest to me physically?” Enhance your physical connection.
- “Have I hurt you in a way I don’t realize?” Address hidden relationship strains.
- “How can we make our home feel safer for both of us?” Build a stronger sense of shared space.
- “What childhood dream have you kept to yourself?” Connect with each other’s younger selves.
- “How can we have each other’s backs in social situations?” Strengthen your teamwork in public.
These questions go beyond small talk. They touch on what makes relationships work: shared goals, mutual support, and emotional connection.
The key is to really listen to each other’s answers. Find a quiet time to talk, free from distractions. You might be surprised by what you learn about your partner – and yourself.
Remember, it’s okay if these talks feel a bit uncomfortable at first. Be patient and open-minded. The point isn’t to have perfect answers, but to understand each other better.
By having these deeper conversations regularly, you’re actively building a stronger relationship. You’re creating a shared story and reinforcing your connection.
Which question stands out to you? Which one makes you a bit nervous? Often, the questions that challenge us lead to the most growth. Give them a try and see where the conversation takes you.
